Runners-Up from our Non-Contest Contest #2 

Re-imagining Ringo as a kvetchy Yiddish-speaker, here’s our final runner-up. Thanks all for participating (and we would suggest you catch up on your Downton Abbey watching for our next, post-AWP contest). 

Oy with these drums. Boom, boom, boom. Snare, snare, cymbal. It’s enough already. God forbid I should be able to hear my own thoughts. Boom, boom, crash. This is music? The man who invented the cymbal, he should grow like an onion with his head in the ground. Feh. And who’s to blame anyways? You could have played the violin, Ringo. That’s what your mother said. Play the violin like your cousin Sal. Such a nice sounding instrument. So quiet and sweet. Does anyone wake up in the middle of the night with the sound of a violin rattling his eardrum like a teapot banging on the stove? Maybe in the next life. Hok nisht mir chinik. Now Sal owns his own meat curing factory and has a two-story home in Dover. What of it? We should all be so lucky.  What I wouldn’t give for a glass of ice water right now. Oh, certainly John, take a nice deep sip. Tastes good? Good. Enjoy. Why shouldn’t you? What do I want with water? What do I need with quenched thirst when my head is a sack of potatoes and my wrists. Can you imagine my poor wrists drumming like this every night? Why bother with wrists anyhow. What do I need wrists for? Paul wants to do Hard Day’s Night as an encore.  Darling Paul. Er zol kakn mit blit un mit ayter. One misfortune for him is not enough. Do they ask Heifetz for an encore?  Do they?”

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from Brian Diamond who gives us these details:

Brian Diamond lives in Los Angeles with his wife and dog. He writes poetry and other stuff.